*yawn* it's friday, and i am clockwatching very intently right now.
for the first time in a while, i have no social activities planned for the weekend. of course, i started planning a little late, and most people seem to be booked. fie!
i was supposed to wear my troy aikman jersey and head over to hardcore niner fan nelson's place to watch the game and trash talk, but instead, he's going camping. bummer. it would have been fun to watch the game together as enemies, hehe.
today was the free company lunch day. the cuisine was korean, which was decent; i had this spicy sesame oil tofu item, and it was pretty tasty. and they also had choco pies! these are kind of like chocolate marshmallow pastries, and despite my disdain for all things chocolate, i rather enjoyed the choco pie. too bad i only got two of them.
i got yet another mini panic attack last night. so the current theory is that watching television makes me nervous and fidgety. that's the only explanation for why i've been getting these attacks. i mean, wednesday night, i thought it was because i was allergic to lauren sanchez, but last night, all i did was watch _the OC_, and bam! panic attack. i am running low on xanax, and my next psych appointment is in october. i hope i don't run out of medication! i had better go out there and get some benadryl.
so my litmus test for whether or not i am in an attack is whether i can stand to hear sean salisbury's voice and not get nervous. for those of you who don't watch ESPN, salisbury is one of their NFL analysts. he has a very direct and confrontational tone, and everything he says, he makes it sound like he's right all the time. it's sort of annoying, but unless i am having an attack, it doesn't really bother me that much. but those times when i'm panicking, the sound of him makes me very jittery and uncomfortable. weird, huh?
all of this just goes to show you that i am a very fragile person. i hate being this way, because honestly, it sounds ridiculous that watching tv or hanging out with people can make me have a nervous breakdown. fucking ridiculous!
this shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!
so next week, my coworker T, my smoking buddy, comes back from his two-week vacation in taiwan. i am looking forward to having him back, as for these past two weeks, i've been smoking in solitude. yay!
ok, in a few hours, i'll be outta here. have a great weekend, folks!