we went to elephant bar (in cupertino) today for lunch. i've been there twice now (the first time was YEARS ago), and i have to say, i'm not impressed. i don't think i'll be going there again.
i've been smoking a lot lately to combat my tics. i've gotten to the point where every hour, my body feels a craving for a cigarette. hrm, i need to cut back, but my tics are bad enough that they warrant frequent smoking breaks for me to calm down.
i don't have any plans in place for this weekend. sigh. i guess it's time to call people up and see if they want to hang out. i do have a dinner (gombei, yum!) with the taiko folk on sunday night, after my tennis outing with dishi. i hope i can also squeeze in watching the cowboys/raiders game on sunday afternoon.
have you ever had an unsatisfying dump? you know, the ones where you dump, and you feel like you want to excrete more, but your body just isn't producing the "matter?" i had one of those today, and i was very uncomfortable. my sphincter was all tingly and stuff, wanting more dumpage, but i just couldn't muster any more of it up.
(OC spoilers ahead.) so i KNEW jeri ryan's character was evil! there was just something wrong with her and the way she was interacting with kirsten, e.g. all those mind games and such. i personally think jeri ryan is pretty ugly; something is just not right with her face. but either way, i hope she doesn't dupe any money out of the cohens. evil EVIL bitch!
too bad the show is taking a break. i was just getting into the OC groove, but now, (most likely because of the MLB playoffs) the next new episode will be on november 3rd or something. i guess in the meantime, i can just watch _alias_ on live tv, since it's in the same time slot.
i found a pretty entertaining blog today. this dude had me laughing out loud in my cubicle. :) hey, who knows, we could be related. ha!
i think i'm going to have trouble sleeping through mornings when daylight savings kicks in. right now, (i suppose it's the haldol) i'm very sensitive to light, and the moment the sun start coming out, i wake up. it sucks. right now, it starts getting light around 6:30am or so, but later on in october, it'll be 5:30! yowza! spring forward, fall back, right?
i wish i documented last year's europe trip more. i went back to this blog's archives yesterday and re-read my entries, and looking back, it was a good trip, despite my initial grumblings over people and weather and tics and what not. if i had to do it all over again, i guess i'd say yes. i just wish i had written more and taken more pictures.
anyways, i hope you all have a great weekend. i'll be out of here in a few hours.
so last night, alan and ting invited people over to their place to watch the final dance-off of _so you think you can dance_. previously, i had mentioned how i was a little anxious about this because it was a social event, which have a tendency of driving me to a panic attack.
well, what d'ya know, i didn't have one! instead, i was comfortable with the people there (despite them being 3 couples), and i had a very good time. when i got home, i felt fine, although i did have problems falling asleep; i took two (50mg total) tablets of benadryl as a catalyst to usher in the sleeping process.
but either way, i just wanted to say that i had a good time last night, and the fact that i didn't fall in to a panic attack is good news. :)
so today was the last day that the current caterers are providing food in the company cafeteria. i went downstairs looking for them; i wanted to thank them for cooking for me. even though the food wasn't spectacular or anything, i just thought they did a competent job at providing meals to us employees. i will miss them a bit. *sniff*
i had decent-sized bowl at mongolian bbq today. i'm think i've finally arrived at the point where i no longer enjoy the stuff. sure, it's spicy and hot and stuff, but i just wasn't wow'ed by it anymore. hopefully this means that i will go there less often; $10 for one bowl of noodles and some meat and veggies is kind of a rip-off!
so it looks like this season, _alias_ and _the OC_ collide, both at 8pm on thursdays. i guess that means i'm going to tape alias, which is good because i hate having to go through commercials while i'm watching that show. i think alias actually has more commercial time than most other shows... i feel like i'm getting cheated.
so my smoking buddy T is back from taiwan! he bought a carton of cartier cigarettes, and i've had two of them today. i have to say, they're very light, which is good is light-ness is what you're looking for. me, i'd rather have a heavier cigarette so i get more of an effect from the nicotine. but either way, i'm glad T is back in the states.
i didn't get that much sleep this morning. at 8am, for a few days straight, this maniac with an electric saw has been carving up wood for hours. that's the problem with living in a townhouse complex... your neighbors are close by, and you can get distracted with/bothered by all the noise. and what's worse, there was this whimpering barking dog that went berserk this morning as well. double whammy! grrr.
is it just me, or is it a fact that the older you get, the worse your digestive system gets? i've taken dumps next to some older men at work, and it seems like they have some nasty dumpages. like today, the guy must have had chunky diarrhea or something; it sounded horrible coming out. i think i'm lucky to still have fairly normal stools; i'm not looking forward to getting nasty shits as i age.
and with that, i'm gone. *poof*
things aren't going well for me, at least at night. for the second night in a row, i needed to pop a few pills of xanax to get me to sleep. i know this is old news, but the thing is, panic attacks are hitting me very frequently now. the good news is that they're not happening at work, but of course, the bad news is that i am having a hell (literally) of a time trying to fall asleep.
so word is that the cooks at the company cafeteria are going to be replaced at the end of this month. i feel bad, because even though the food isn't spectacular or anything, the people are very friendly, and they cook in a competent manner. i have no idea what kind of stuff we're going to get from the new folks.
so tonight, alan and ting are hosting a _so you think can dance_ finale pizza party at their place. it should be fun. i was just on fox.com perusing the dancers' biographies. some of them have been taking lessons for 10 years! wow, it just goes to show that homegrown (never been taught) dancers like the cool kid ryan just can't compete with a guy who's been learning how to dance for over a decade.
i really admire people who move well to music. i just to love dancing (back in my early days in college), but lately, i just don't dance anymore. i don't like doing it. i guess i'm self-conscious, not wanting to look like i'm having a fit of epilepsy. :) ha!
i'm having ramen tonight with the yujster tonight. an early dinner. i look forward to catching up with him; he's so passionate about stanford sports, and i always get the scoop on how the cardinal are going to do.
so now that J is coming to visit for a weekend, i got to plan on what we're going to do. i'll have to spend some time mapping out where we're going to go, what we're going to eat, etc. of course, one day will be spent in SF, but i'm not sure where or what we're going to do. either way, i am just happy to finally be able to see her again, after losing touch for 8 years. i hope she won't get bored, though.
is it weird that one of my ear canals smells different from the other canal? i pick my ears pretty often, and i usually smell the tips of my insertion finger afterwards. the left ear doesn't smell much like anything, but man, the right one has some *funk* to it! i wonder if it's infected or something.
anyways, life is just ho hum right now. night time has totally flip-flopped for me, i.e. i used to look forward to going to bed, but now i dread it. it really sucks, but sleep was a huge thing for me and my escaping my tics. and the worst thing is, i don't know how to change my situation. and i hope i don't become dependent on xanax (or benadryl when i get it).
ok, that's it for me today. see ya!
well, i played basketball for the first time in months. i scored one measly point, got pretty winded after only two games, and left early. oh well. i miss exercise, though, so i think i'll start playing again, at least once a week.
so last night was pretty weird. i wasn't panicking, but i couldn't fall asleep. sportscenter wasn't irking me like it does when i'm in an attack, so in the end, i still wound up taking xanax to help me get some shuteye.
i just ate two twix bars. i don't know why i keep getting it, because it's a little too sweet for me. all that chocolate and caramel! ick. i should go back to eating potato chips or doritos or something.
so J is coming out to visit! yup. i just bought her plane tickets this morning. she'll be out here october 20th to 23rd. i'm excited, and i am anxious to see her again. it's weird, because we hadn't talked in like 8 years, but when i found her again, i just got this really strong urge to see her. *shrug* i guess some friends, you just naturally gravitate to. she's one of them.
i think i'm going to get a haircut today. after basketball, i took a good look at myself in my car's rearview mirror, and man, i looked horrible with the fro-y hair! it's time to stop that... and plus, i'm way overdue for a haircut. i usually get them once a month, but this time, it's been like 6 weeks.
i miss my smoking buddy T here at work. i thought he was going to be in taiwan for only two weeks, but it turns out he's on a *three* week vacation. man, it must be nice to get away from work for that long. but yeah, i miss him, as all of my cigarette breaks have been by myself.
i also miss my family. i know i don't talk about them much, but the honest truth is that i love them. a few years ago, i wouldn't have admitted that fact, but for whatever reason, i want to be close to my family. i think it's the fact that i don't see them very often, and my mom and dad are getting old. and i am all too well aware that they won't be here forever, so i want to get in as much quality time as possible. *sniff*
i feel really bad for my poor mom. she is still suffering a lot, it seems. she can't overexert herself, even on simple things like cooking or taking walks. she sounds so weak when i call her, and i just wish that the doctors she's seeing could diagnose something real and tangible. but instead, they're all baffled by my mom, while she continues to suffer. *RAAR*
but anyways, the plan is to see them during christmas break. the problem is, she might not be well enough to travel, so i would have to fly to taiwan to see them instead of going back to dallas. sigh. i know i shouldn't gripe about it, but the plane flight to taiwan is a killer bitch.
ok. sorry to end on such a downer, but that's it for me today. have a great day, my darling pups.
i'm taking a break from coding. it was nice to do some real work for a change, though. i actually felt productive! *cheer*
so it's monday, and i reminded myself today that we don't have a national holiday until the end of *november*. isn't that depressing? i mean, we have september to finish up, the entire month of october, and then a few more weeks of full workweeks to deal with! auuugh.
i am having an especially bad hair day today. i went to bed last night with wet hair, so today it's just one gargantuan ugly fro. hehe.
does anybody know how much benadryl i should take (in mgs, i suppose) to induce sleep? i'm going to get some soon, because xanax isn't really helping with my panic attacks. sigh. these spells are just horrible. there's nothing quite like lying in a comfortable position yet feeling so *uncomfortable*. it's like my body is wired up to some awful source of electricity; i can't really describe it, and you'd have to have one yourself to understand what i'm talking about.
so to deal with it as of now, i'm going to have to limit my social interactions. i know it sounds lame and pathetic, but somehow being with people has a way of making me panic, especially at night. i'm not sure why this is, though, but the current trend is that if i do anything outside of my normal routine, i start have these attacks. FIE!
the real test will be wednesday night. ting is planning this _so you think you can dance_ finale night, so it will definitely be a social event. and coupled with my allergy to lauren sanchez, the time will be ripe for me to have a panic attack. we shall see, my friends, we shall see.
/two hours later/
damn, that was a long fucking meeting.
anyways, i have totally lost my train of thought here. not that i really write coherently or anything. :)
have you ever thought that you dumped a little turd, only to look down at the bowl afterwards and realize that you really excreted a TON of shit? that's what happened today. i had one long strain on the pot, but after i wiped and looked at the results, there were THREE big turds! weird, huh?
anyways, that's it for today. see you later!
well, it was sort of a bad weekend for me. i'll get to it later.
friday night, i just had my bowl of cereal for dinner and went to sleep. i woke up on saturday, and no one was around, so i did my errands (drop off some clothes to get repaired at the cleaners, got my roasted barley pearl milk tea), and took a nap.
dinner should have been good; i met up with the usual gang at fusion, this place on south winchester that was good. but, through the course of our two-hour dinner, i got a wicked panic attack. i got home at 10pm, and just had my freak-out session until i finally fell asleep at 2am. it was horrible. the xanax wasn't working, and i smoked 12 cigarettes that day. horrible, just horrible. it was my worst night ever since late last year. i have got to do something about these panic attacks; i might go buy some benadryl later.
anyways, sunday, i watched the cowboys/niners game at nelson's place. the trash talking was cordial, and to my happiness, the cowboys pulled it out in the 4th quarter after being down. yippee! i went home, took a nap, ate a bowl of cereal, and headed off for bed.
and that was it. i didn't do a whole lot this weekend, and considering the ridiculous explosive panic attack i had, it made the weekend sort of suck for me. sigh.
*yawn* it's friday, and i am clockwatching very intently right now.
for the first time in a while, i have no social activities planned for the weekend. of course, i started planning a little late, and most people seem to be booked. fie!
i was supposed to wear my troy aikman jersey and head over to hardcore niner fan nelson's place to watch the game and trash talk, but instead, he's going camping. bummer. it would have been fun to watch the game together as enemies, hehe.
today was the free company lunch day. the cuisine was korean, which was decent; i had this spicy sesame oil tofu item, and it was pretty tasty. and they also had choco pies! these are kind of like chocolate marshmallow pastries, and despite my disdain for all things chocolate, i rather enjoyed the choco pie. too bad i only got two of them.
i got yet another mini panic attack last night. so the current theory is that watching television makes me nervous and fidgety. that's the only explanation for why i've been getting these attacks. i mean, wednesday night, i thought it was because i was allergic to lauren sanchez, but last night, all i did was watch _the OC_, and bam! panic attack. i am running low on xanax, and my next psych appointment is in october. i hope i don't run out of medication! i had better go out there and get some benadryl.
so my litmus test for whether or not i am in an attack is whether i can stand to hear sean salisbury's voice and not get nervous. for those of you who don't watch ESPN, salisbury is one of their NFL analysts. he has a very direct and confrontational tone, and everything he says, he makes it sound like he's right all the time. it's sort of annoying, but unless i am having an attack, it doesn't really bother me that much. but those times when i'm panicking, the sound of him makes me very jittery and uncomfortable. weird, huh?
all of this just goes to show you that i am a very fragile person. i hate being this way, because honestly, it sounds ridiculous that watching tv or hanging out with people can make me have a nervous breakdown. fucking ridiculous!
this shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!
so next week, my coworker T, my smoking buddy, comes back from his two-week vacation in taiwan. i am looking forward to having him back, as for these past two weeks, i've been smoking in solitude. yay!
ok, in a few hours, i'll be outta here. have a great weekend, folks!
man! so yesterday, i got home and turned on the tv. most of the major channels were airing the news story about that jetblue flight that had a fucked up front landing gear. i was very much afraid for the lives of the 139 passengers onboard, and i was horrified to think that they might show the plane blowing up or something when it tried to land.
luckily, thankfully, the plane landed ok, even though it completely lost its from landing gear tires and much of the wheel assembly (did you see the SPARKS?). i actually clapped and cheered when the plane came to a stop. *phew* it could have been really ugly, you know.
anyways, that was my excitement for the day.
other than that, i watched _so you think you can dance_. i was sad to see artem go; his paso doble a few weeks ago was one of the most memorable performances, imho. but anyways, i enjoyed the dances, but i find that hip hop definitely is the most exciting. good music, cool moves, great outfits, and lots of energy. *yay*
curiously enough, i got a mild panic attack right after watching the show. i think i'm allergic to the host, lauren sanchez. there is something about her that just pisses me off; maybe it's her attitude and manner of speaking, i don't know, but i was a little jittery after the show ended. luckily, though, i was able to tune into a late baseball game and let it lull me to sleep. damn, these panic attacks!
so i wish a special bon voyage to mike, who is going to NYC for the first time! it'll be exciting, i'm sure, and i bet he will take a lot of pictures. i remember the first time i went there. it was a month after 9/11, and new york was sort of depressing. they said you could smell the rubble in lower manhattan (although my nose didn't discern anything).
i got a few bugbites on my left arm the other night. i noticed them when i woke up, and i sincerely hope that there aren't weird bugs in my blankets. *shiver*
i went this place called truya sushi today. i think its original name was tsuruya sushi, but maybe people had a hard time pronouncing it. i was oddly attracted to the tall asian waitress there; when she smiled she showed some long dimples on her cheek, and i found that to be very cute. did i mention she was tall, too? *claps*
i need to go out and buy some benadryl. i've been taking xanax for my panic attacks, but i think i should switch to a non-prescription method of inducing sleep. and from what i've heard, benadryl's antihistamine effects are very good at making people sleepy. can anyone confirm this?
and on one last note, silly people, i do NOT wank off in the office. i just meant that i play with myself a little bit with *no* intention of having a self-induced orgasm. as IF! :)
man, my lower back hurts. i had trouble sleeping last night because of the pain. hm. i want to see my chiropractor, but like i said, i don't want the guilt trip he's going to lay on me. fie...
i went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned today. man, my teeth/gums were sore afterwards. they also did bitewing x-rays on me, and i have a tendency to gag on them.
we went to mongolian bbq today. i had 1.5 bowls, and afterwards, i felt sleepy and sick. hm. it's weird, this addiction. i mean, it's expensive ($10 for a bowl of stuff if you only go once), it's greasy, and it makes me feel sick. yet, i keep having a hankering for it once every few days, and i keep going back. puzzling, isn't it?
there's this restaurant called "spice island" in downtown mountain view, just off castro. i had been there once with jay, and boy, did it suck. well yesterday, i joined mike and company for dinner there, and whatd'ya know, it was actually pretty good! i especially liked the pan-fried noodle dish, and the beef rendang was tasty there as well. i might start going there again, although it was sort of price ($14 per person).
did you hear the thunder yesterday? weird to have thunderstorms in the bay area in september. i know it's the start of fall, but i don't remember it raining this early in the year. sort of refreshing, but then again, i hate the rain.
i have a habit of playing with myself when i get a random office boner. the problem is, i now have this woman from israel sitting across (diagonally) from me. we both have direct eyesight into each other's cube, so i definitely had to cut down on the schlong-play that i was going to do. but damn, i like getting random erections in the office; it makes me daydream about sex, which is always a nice topic to think about. :)
i got a massage yesterday! *huzzah* it was my monthly treat to myself, and i even got to leave work early for it. it felt sooooo nice to get worked over; apparently, though, i had some tough spots that hurt when the woman hit them. i guess my body is all tense and stuff. but massages are my half hour break from ticcing, and i love getting. if only they weren't so expensive. $$!
i got hiccups during a meeting today. it was sort of embarrassing, making that hiccup noise every few seconds. i've noticed that i tend to get them when i drink carbonated beverages; does anyone else get them when they drink a soda?
so a few nights ago, during my panic attack, i busted out the magazine porn. but lo and behold, i couldn't get into it. static pictures don't do much for me anymore; in this day and age of technology, i need video! heheh. so a tip to all you people out there who want to buy me porn: give me a dvd instead of a magazine! :)
ok, that's it for today. have a STUPENDOUS hump day, darling pups!
holy shit, man. don't get me started on how the cowboys lost last night. they were up 13-0 in the middle of the 4th quarter, but two long bombs from mark brunell to santana moss gave the redskins two late touchdowns. what the fuck, man. i was so upset that i self-generated a panic attack and couldn't fall asleep until midnight, after having smoked 12 cigarettes. shit. *pukes*
fyi, bill parcells, the cowboys' coach, was 77-0 when leading in the 4th quarter when up by 13+ points. so it seemed like he wouldn't fuck it up when we were leading 13-0 headed into that final quarter. apparently, i was wrong. :( *RAAR*
so yeah, that was pretty depressing, but perhaps even more so is the fact that stanford lost to division I-AA uc davis in their football game on saturday. what the hell is up with that? we lose to DAVIS?! that is just shameful.
so it was a bad weekend of sports for me. i hope next weekend is better, when the cowboys face the niners at candlestick. but i am definitely jittery about it. depressing, that's all i can say.
so two weekends ago, i sent k2 a one-liner e-mail wishing her a happy 30th birthday. she replied last night, and i am glad that she was cordial. i can't say that i want to be good friends again, but civility among me and my ex's is definitely good news. :)
i am getting sick and tired of these panic attacks. my tics get worse, my body and brain feel electric, and worst of all, i can't escape by simply falling asleep. not being able to sleep is just a horrible situation to be in; lying down does not provide me the comfort that it usually does, and i am left with no ways to "escape." ick.
wow, it's thundering out there. i didn't expect rain in september. but it does smell nice out there... fresh and moist. hehe, moist, i like that word. moist!
i like it when a girl is moist. ha!
my back's been hurting lately. of course, i could go see my chiropractor, but i don't want to face him and his attempts to convince me to go on that zero-carb diet to help my tourette's. honestly, how is a no-carb diet going to fix my tics? i am highly skeptical. so instead, i'm avoiding him and just suffering through it with a bad back.
i haven't taken a dump today. i wonder what's up. i think i'm gonna go have a cigarette and try to induce some dumpage. laters!
so in the aftermath of my tennis outing with dishi on saturday, my body is sore, especially my left ass. i don't know what about tennis makes an ass muscle hurt, but man, i definitely feel it in my ass when i bend over and stuff. it just goes to show you how out of shape i am.
i ate a lot of spaghetti for lunch today. i went back for seconds (for free, too!) even, which is something i've never done at lunch in the cafeteria. i guess i was in one of those moods where pasta was the perfect thing to eat.
i'm excited for tonight. why? because my beloved dallas cowboys are on monday night football! i hope they trash the redskins; they've won 7 out of the last 8 meetings, so i have high hopes for the team to do well.
four months sure passed by quickly. this wednesday, i'm getting my teeth cleaned. i hope it's not a painful bloody ordeal like it usually is. and i'm not looking forward to the guilt trip my dentist is going to give me for not flossing. sigh.
people are commenting on the depeche mode concert t-shirt i'm wearing today. this shirt is from the "songs of faith and devotion" tour of 1993 or so, which means my shirt is well over a decade old. it's a little worn, but it still wearable. the concert was during my sophomore year at college, and i remember that before we left, i went on a hike to the dish. and it got dark really quickly (more quickly than i had anticipated), so i had to make it back out of the place in pitch dark. it was sort of scary.
i wonder what it would be like to be buff. sure, i've had a few fantasies about hitting the gym and gaining some muscle mass. i mean, if i were lean and cut, i would look pretty good, right? especially since i'm tall? but man, i just have no desire to lift weights; i consider the practice a modern form of self-torture. a hundred years from now, they're going to unearth all the gyms and conclude that we were a species obsessed with hurting ourselves.
i had another panic attack friday night. i think i get them when i have prolonged exposure to social situations that make me uncomfortable. at least, that's the current theory. all i can say is, panic attacks fucking suck.
anyways, not much going on this monday. i want to win the lottery so i don't have to work. or at least, i wouldn't have to work at a job that i don't like. i'd probably go into teaching or something like that if money weren't an issue. although, i wonder if i have what it takes to be a teacher; the kids would probably make fun of me and my tourette's. hrmph.
and, thanks to dishi, today is officially "talk like a pirate day." no, i am completely serious. so with a loud *ARRRRRRR*, i bid you farewell.
so yeah, it was an easy breezy weekend for me.
friday night, i met up with nelson at pasta pomodoro, but we didn't want to wait the 20-25 minutes that they quoted us, so we just wound up dating nearby at chipotle. afterwards, nelson bought his evolution book at borders. i'm curious as to the read, but i am just to lazy to go through with it.
saturday, i didn't do much in the afternoon except my wonderful 3-hour nap. later, i met up with dishi at stanford to play an hour's worth of tennis. man, i am SORE today! that goes to show you how out of shape i am. afterwards, we met up with barden at gombei for a nice dinner.
sunday, i had lunch with jay in cupertino village. he loves roasted meats, so for a whopping $12 (at a chinese place, no less), he got roast pig AND roast duck. me, i got a simple wonton noodle soup. yum! after lunch, i stopped by ten ren and got a pearl milk tea before heading back home for my nap.
alan and i spontaneously watched _lord of war_ at 5:10 at mercado; it was an ok movie, but i wasn't too interested in the life of an arms dealer. we had burgers at taxi's afterwards across the parking lot. i got the messiest burger ever (mushroom swiss), and by the end of it, my hands were dripping with ketchup, mustard, and beef grease. ick.
i had a tummyache that night. it was painful, and it kept me up until midnight or so. i took a naked dump to clear some stuff out (my first and only dump of the weekend, for some reason, i'm not regular when i'm not in the office), and that helped.
anyways, that was it.
man, just got out of a 1.5-hour division meeting. they handed out awards to people who worked extra hard during the month, and as expected, i didn't get one. that's just me, though, and while the old me would have cared, the current me doesn't really give a shit. i've learned to not work as hard, because that tends to drive up my stress level and give me panic attacks. so yeah, i do what i need to do to get by, and that's that.
no real plans for the weekend, except for a tennis/gombei thing with the taiko peeps tomorrow night. we'll see what i'll muster up this weekend.
i had dinner (super wet burritos with carnitas and no cilantro) with adam last night. it was good seeing him, and as usual, after such a big meal, we took a walk around the castro area. we stopped by the old lucy's tea house, and it's completely destroyed inside! there's a big pile of dirt inside, and lots of debris. i wonder what sort of place it's going to be in the future.
so dallas plays washington on monday night football! *cheer* i hope my 'boys do well. did i mention that i LOVE football season?
so the other day, i tried taking a dump with my pants at my ankles. but as soon as i let them fall all the way down, i pulled them back up. it was just way too breezy. i mean, i like a good breeze and all, but my testicles felt like they were going to freeze as they curled back up into my crotch.
i find it fascination how testicles can be pulled back into the body for warmth, as well as fall away from the body to chill down. i read once that sperm needs to be a fraction of a degree to live, so the male body adjusts to hot or cold conditions by extending or contracting the scrotum. fascinating, eh? i remember experimenting with that biological function before, when i was younger. i was pretty impressed. :)
i am worried about my health these days. i haven't exercised in months, and i don't think my cereal diet is doing me any good, either. of course, being the incredibly lazy ass that i am, i'm not doing anything about it. i still haven't scheduled my physical yet. hm. maybe i'll make that one of my goals next week. yes, yes, i know it's as simple as making a phone call, but still... i am *that* lazy.
so does anyone know if i can buy a plane ticket on travelocity in somebody else's name? i'm flying J out, and i'm paying for her ticket, but i need to make the boarding pass in her name (and not mine). is this possible?
anyways, the weekend's almost here, and i am terribly excited to leave the office. who wouldn't be? :) so take care out there my darling pups, and have a STUPENDOUS weekend!
yum. so we just had our "third thursday ice cream bash" here at the company. i had a cone! yup, and four scoops of ice cream (rocky road, cookie dough, and cookies and cream). i'm quite satisfied with the stuff. :)
so i'm bummed ryan got booted from _so you think you can dance_. he was definitely the most fun to watch, just because of his spikey hair. but anyways, i do agree that he's definitely not the most versatile dancer; he looked out of place doing ballroom dances and what not.
so tonight is the 2nd episode of _the OC_. i hope the kids don't get expelled or thrown in jail, but i have faith that the plot won't let it go that far. as much bad shit happens to the cohens, the writers always pull them out of the fire just before they get burnt.
one of my cubicle neighbors is this cute girl from israel. she's out here for a 3-4 month stint, and she's leaving behind a boyfriend in the motherland. poor girl. i have made strong overtures about not having to travel for work, and i feel sorry for anybody who is forced to do so. i've been asked to go to toronto (and israel a few years back), but i've always kept firm about not going.
so it's thursday, and i'm happy about that. i dread coming into the office. well, the truth is, i'm excited about checking my e-mail for the first time, but after that, it all goes downhill. so somebody write me an e-mail and make me happy! :)
i am craving mongolian bbq again. the thing is, though, it is sort of expensive. you pay $10 for a bowl of your own creation, but that's sort of steep if you think about it. of course, they call "all you can eat," but honestly, how many people can eat two bowls of the stuff? well, maybe next time i'll try to go two rounds to make it more worth my money.
do people who have a lot of anal sex (being the recipient) have a hard time keeping from soiling their pants? i imagine that frequent anal sex loosens your sphincter, and maybe it goes to a point where it can no longer keep their shit in the system. hm. *ponder*
i did some coding changes today. to be honest, i like doing work, but only when i have a clue as to what i am doing. if you ask me to look at somebody else's code and try to figure it out, i am very terrible at that. but if it's my code, it's not so bad. but the best part is writing code from scratch. things are clean, and hopefully well thought out, and it just flows.
i heard that the korean people who make our food down in the cafeteria are leaving soon. i shall miss them. not that i've talked to them much, but the lady at the cashier seems to like me; i think she charges me less than the full amount, and i appreciate that kindness.
anyways, it looks like my friend J is coming to visit! i'm paying for her airfare, and i think it'll be a grand old time. even though i haven't talked to her much (especially with our 8 years of lost contact), i value her friendship. i'm not sure why, but i just do. and i'm excited to see her.
ok, that's it for today. have a good one folks!
so pizza last night was good. mike and the gang ordered two large's, which were my two favorite flavors: the al bundy (with sausage) and the great chicago fire. i was full by the end of the meal; we each had four slices, except mike who only had three.
i was a bit jittery by the end of dinner; remember what i said about prolonged social exposure? man, they really shouldn't stress me out, but they do, so when i got home, i took 2mg of xanax to calm me down. it knocked me out, and i was able to sleep fine.
did anybody watch the finale of _tommy lee goes to college_? is he coming back for his sophomore year? i was switching channels between that show and espn (troy aikman, the great quarterback, was on _OTL_).
did anyone use to eat scabs? i did for a while when i was younger. nowadays, i don't have any scabs to tempt me because i'm not getting injured. from what i remember, scabs don't really taste like much; but they're just fascinating because they look so gross.
so today's my mom's birthday. since taiwan is like a day ahead, i called last night. sigh. she's so weak and sick, my mom. i want to do something (anything) for her, but i can't. it's up to her to get better. i just wish i could hop on a plane, fly to taiwan, and tell her that i love her and give her a great big bearhug. *hug*
i'm afraid to drive to berkeley. i want/need to go visit my friend W, who owns the q-cup there, but i'm petrified to taking my car into the land of the golden bear. you see, my car has stanford stickers (and a license plate frame) on it, and i'm afraid that the kids there will trash my car. crazy fanatical undergrads, hrmph.
man, today's going by slowly. for lunch, they (the company cafeteria downstairs) had this black pepper steak with cabbage, but the beef was really tough to chew. of course, it only cost me $2, so what can you expect from a meal that cheap.
is it bad that my #1 favorite thing to look forward to is sleeping? i wonder if it's a sign for chronic depression or something. i know i should be happier, but i just don't feel it. i remember when i was on antidepressants, i would practically shiver at night because i was so excited for the next day to come. weird, huh? drugs can change your mood, so who is to say whether you are the "real" you when you're on or off the medication?
i really need to get a physical. problem is, i take my dumps around 11-noon, so if i get a (earlier) morning exam, when the doctor sticks his finger up my ass, he's going to get a fingerful of shit. ewww.
speaking of defecation, my dumps lately have been pretty soft, as evidenced by the amount of "matter" that comes off on the first wipe. i guess this is good, though, because it means i'm getting enough fiber or something. but there is something satisfying about birthing a thick, dry dump, which i haven't had in a while.
ok, before this discussion gets too gross, i'm gonna cut it short. see ya!
howdy folks! i'm bored. :( someone please write me an e-mail; gimme some lovin'!
i'm having pizza chicago tonight with mike and company tonight. i purposely ate a small lunch (polish dog at costco and a box of fruit) in anticipation. hopefully we'll order the al bundy pizza, and i can get my garlic fix.
i've been yawning incessantly today. not sure why that's happening.
my sleep seems to alternate between nights where it feels soooo good to be in bed and nights where i'm silently panicking over something that i have no idea over. it's really weird, these two extremes in juxtaposition. strange.
i caught the _friends_ episode last night where joey professes his love for rachel. you know, that takes a lot of balls, i.e. confessing that you are in love with this girl knowing that chances are that she's not in the same place. i mean, if you know you're going to get shot down, then why do it? it'll just hurt a ton, and why put yourself in that position? sure, it must be good to get it out in the open, but a public unrequited love is just such a painful situation.
you know what's harder to pull off than a pink shirt? a purple shirt. i have neither of these in my extensive wardrove, but back in the day, i did have a blueberry yogurt-colored t-shirt in college. (for obvious reasons, i called it my "yogurt shirt.") anyways, pink on a man says "i am confident enough in my masculinity to pull this off." but purple? that just says "i have bad taste in clothing." hehe. sorry if i offended anyone. :)
i was thinking more about my panic attacks, and it seems that they might stem from prolonged social exposure. which is a real kicker, you know, because i crave social situations. but it seems like the longer i go without a break, the higher the chance that i start panicking and stuff. i don't know what it is, and it seems that even when i'm with my most comfortable friends, it still happens. *RAAR*
i love boobs. i miss boobs.
anyways, my friend jessica is planning on taking up my proposition of flying her out to see me. that makes me happy. it won't be for a while, though, because she's still trying to get her life in order in houston. but anyways, i am excited at the opportunity to see her, and i am definitely glad i got off my ass and called her dad in my attempt to reach her. *cheer*
wow, today is going by slowly. i'm ready to go home, and it's not even 3pm yet! ok, take care!
man, i am sleepy today. i got my mongolian bbq fix today, and even though i don't put any oil or anything greasy into my bowl, it's always a heavy meal.
so my cowboys won yesterday! yippee. the big showdown (that's televised) will be two weeks from now, when dallas comes in town to play the 49ers. i'm sure nelson and i will do a lot of trash talking, as he is as much as fan of san francisco as i am of my beloved cowboys. bring it on!
last night, i got another panic attack. fuck, these episodes are coming once every other day, it seems. i mean, i seem ok, but once i'm lying in bed, i keep tossing and turning, and i feel like my heart is racing, and i can't relax. those nights, i'm taking 2mg of xanax to calm me down. shit, i hope i don't grow to be dependent on the drug.
sigh, it's monday. the 4-day workweek last week was very nice, and i just wish every week was like that.
the weather's been getting a lot cooler here, so much so that at night, my two layers of blankets aren't enough. i like it. cold nights make snuggling that much better.
i got comment spam again. every wednesday or so, i close the comment sections for all of the previous week's blog posts. but this time, they got to me early, and i was sort of pissed off. comment spam sucks!
i think i've forgotten how to make conversation and small talk. last night, at jay and margaret's place, i was very quiet, even though i was among my best friends. everyone was watching coco, the the cute puppt, and people would say this and that. me? i found nothing to say, and it was a disturbing trend. it's like i can't make lighthearted conversation anymore. hm. yes, disturbing.
i'm starting to watch more HDTV at my friends' places. i'm getting HDTV envy. the picture is just so clear and detailed! and now i'm tempted to replace my tv with an HD monitor. i've always been sort of an early adopter, and television plays such a big role in my life that you'd think i would have gotten on the HD bandwagon by now.
i've noticed that a lot of guys at the company drop their pants all the way to their ankles when they take a dump. is that normal? on the other hand, i drop my pants just far enough that i don't take a shit on my clothes. i would imagine it to be rather breezy if my pants went to my ankles. maybe i'll try that the next time i have to dump.
ok, i've got a meeting. later folks!
so friday night, no one was around, so i just had my bowl of cereal and went to sleep.
saturday, i met up with alan to watch _the transporter 2_. before then, i had a $3.50 hot dot at the AMC mercado. since i was hungry, it was the best hot dog i've had in a while, even though it was brown and had fake burn marks on it. the movie itself wasn't very good, though.
i took a nap, and for dinner, i met up with nelson at chili's. i let him order the country fried steak (he didn't want to order it if i did, too) and i got a bacon burger. hm. i remember the burgers used to be better there than it was that night. oh well. chili's was hopping! we waited half an hour to get our two-person booth.
sunday, i went over to nelson's place to watch the 49ers' opening game. nelson got this chicken/garlic pizza from sierra sam's (?), and it was pretty good. i had five slices of it, two of which were eat near the end of the game. i guess i got my second wind in pizza eating. anyways, the 49ers won, and it was a pretty good game for them. who knew they could beat the rams!
i went home around 5:00, and tried to take a nap. but then, alan called. we met up for dinner, and then we headed off to cold stone for some ice cream and then back to jay and margaret's house for their "showing off coco" gathering. coco (short for coconut) is their new puppy. soooooo cute.
and that was it. a decent weekend, but damn, a third day would have really done some good. sigh. i hate mondays at work. :(
well, i just took my second dump of the day. i guess i was backed up, not having taken a shit yesterday. sometimes on the toilet, i strain so hard that i can't breathe. it's weird. and other times, i have this tendency to pull out my cell phone during the dump. odd, isn't it? it's not like i'm about call anyone while sitting on the toilet.
this week flew by, thank goodness. but sigh, no more vacation until the end of november! *RAAR* somebody needs to invent an october holiday, hehe.
not much planned this weekend, except for maybe watching a football game on my friend's HDTV. 49ers vs. rams. the dallas/san diego game will be played during the same time, but alas, living in the bay area, the 49ers are sure to trump the station coverage.
anyways, blogbarnacle mentioned how my weekend reports are sort of like "meals with random friends." yup, that's the way it goes for me. not having a girlfriend, i don't have any one person so be with the entire time. that's how life is (i assume) for my married and engaged friends, but as for the single folk, it's all about mixing it up and staying social. i've actually done pretty well for myself these past few weekends, and i hope to keep it up. it's all about calling up random friends, i suppose.
to combat my tics, i have this weird pose i do where i stretch my left arm over my head to the right side of my body, and i grab the right side of my shirt so that it fits tightly around my neck. the problem is, every once in a while, i still tic, and in doing so, i wind up pulling forcefully on my clothes. well, in doing that just now, i wound up tearing my shirt. sigh. tourette's is such a fucking drag.
so did anybody watch _reunion_, which aired right after _the OC_? i didn't watch it, but it has chyler leigh (yum) in it, and i was wondering if the show was any good. apparently it's about old friends and a murder. *shrug*
i watch a lot of tv. it's not specifically certain shows which i watch, but i just have the tv on a lot of the time. let's see... this upcoming season, i am going to stick with my normal shows: scrubs, alias, and the OC. but of course, i watch sportscenter every night, and i'll watch any NFL football game that's on, so that's a lot of extra viewing time. but if there are any good shows that you guys recommend, let me know, and i'll see if i like it.
i'm burping up the mexican food i had for lunch. today was the biweekly (am i using that term correctly? i mean once every two weeks) free lunch at the office, and the theme was mexican. they had chicken flautas, which i was excited about, but they turned out to be not so good. and now i'm burping up the fajita chicken and the chicken enchiladas. goodness!
i miss italy. i know i didn't sound like i was having much fun during my italy/spain trip last year, but looking back, it wasn't bad at all. sure, i didn't really know the people i went with, but it was still a lot of fun, exploring italy. (i didn't care that much for spain.) ida posted a picture of the duomo in florence, and it just brings back memories of that city. *bliss*
anyways, that's that. have a STUPENDOUS weekend, folks!
i'm usually good about checking if i have everything in my pockets: keys, xanax, cigarettes, lighter, cell phone, and wallet. but during my burrito dinner last night with alan at la bamba, i didn't notice that i had left my wallet at the place.
so i got a call at around 10pm from my psychiatrist (!). it turns out that the folks at la bamba found my appointment slip and called them to get in contact with me. pretty clever, i must say.
anyways, i picked up my trusty wallet at la bamba this morning. i checked that everything was there (credit cards and cash), and i went off to work. *phew* lost wallets are a huge pain in the ass, second to losing keys. i am lucky that i got my wallet back. :) and now, i'll be as paranoid as ever.
damn, ryan got screwed in last night's _so you think you can dance_. first, the foxtrot, and second, lyrical jazz. fyi, he's an incredible breakdancer, but i guess he's not very versatile in other flavors of dance. so i guess what i'm saying is that he doesn't deserve to win, but man, he is fun to watch on the floor when he's breakin' away.
so the television season starts today! yup, tonight's the season premiere of _the OC_, and i am excited. it'll be like seeing good friends again. and on top of that, the NFL season kicks off tonight with a special thursday game featuring the raiders and the patriots. i'm not sure to root for, since i like both teams. but it'll be good to see real NFL (without the scrubs) once again.
i've been pretty regularly lately. despite not having taken a dump today, i usually feel one coming on at 11am or so, right after i have my second cigarette of the day.
a whole bunch of us got dragged into a meeting today at around 11. man, that was a waste of time, and it wasn't just me who thought that. it was a meeting about how to review code. in the example the person gave, the review group found SIXTY-EIGHT errors in the code. who the hell has 68 bugs?! that's some pretty poorly written crap!
people were looking to have lunch with me today. unfortunately, i missed two such requests. why? because there was tuna casserole downstairs in the company cafetiria! i LOVE tuna casserole, and it was pretty good today. sigh. i remember when i was a kid my mom used to make it. that was some good shit, made with love.
i miss my family. i know i don't say that very much at all, but i love my parents and brother. i just don't see them enough. they might go back to dallas (they're in taiwan right now) for christmas, so if they're there, then i'm flying back.
i've been yawning non-stop. i don't know what it is that makes lunches so sleep-inducing, but man, i need a siesta.
fyi, i got into another one of my easy-irritable-by-tv moods last night. i'm not sure what causes this, but luckily i have xanax to take to calm me down. oh, and by the way, did anybody see the agassi/blake tennis match last night? holy shit that was good stuff! :)
howdy folks. how are you doing? and why haven't you e-mailed me yet? i want to hear from all lurkers! :)
well, boring days at the office might become a thing of the past. we had a meeting today, and i was assigned some big monumental tasks. we'll see how i respond to the call.
the lunch lady commented on my abercrombie t-shirt today. yeah, i've heard about racist stuff from A&F, so maybe i should boycott them, but still, i like their clothes, even if they are made for white people. hrm.
i hope ryan doesn't get booted off _so you think you can dance_. i was really impressed with his breakdancing skills in his solo last week. we'll see, though, because i bet allan will get a lot of votes as well. i just think ryan is too cool, with his hair spikes and stuff. he looks like an anime character!
i've been watching a lot of tennis (us open) lately. i think sharapova's baby blue and yellow outfit is great... i like both colors, and they look good on her slender body. kim clijsters, on the other hand, is pretty unattractive to me. she has a man's chin (with a dimple)!
this week is looking up. with my friend W back, i don't feel as sad as i did last week, although my smoking buddy T is leaving next week for taiwan on a two-week vacation. maybe i'll get a little bummed out then. i don't know how it is that i became so attached to people; the independent dardy of yore would have scoffed at the say i am these days.
the weather is cooling down. i love it. it means more snuggle time with my think blankets and cool pillows. fyi, i've been using the same blanket for the last decade plus. i think i even used them before i went to college, so that's at least a good 13+ years. i am so used to them that other blankets feel foreign to me. hurray for stasis!
i talk about my blankets today because they're falling apart, and i am highly reluctant to change them. but the lowest layer (the one that my skin touches) ripped wide open, exposing the insides. if i knew where i could buy a sewing kit, i'd sew it back up, but hell, i'm lazy, and the blanket still works, even if it is a bit tattered and stuff.
the OC season premiere is tomorrow night! i'm excited. ever since anna stern (samaire armstrong) left, i've become a summer roberts (rachel bilson) fan. i even saw her 3-page spread in an issue of _maxim_ at paul and mike's place on sunday. she's pretty hot, with her big dark eyes.
i can't seem to grow out my pinky nail (for ear wax scraping purposes). whenever it gets long, i get immense urges to trim it down with my teeth. and today was no exception. i finally gave in to my nailbiting temptation, so now i have nothing to exctract my ear wax with. sigh.
wednesdays mean i get to have dinner with alan. *huzzah* we're meeting at la bamba for burritos. *cheer*
ok, toodles!
i forgot to mention that on saturday, at jen's place, diana and i had two shots of johnnie walker black. well, it was more like one shot because we put an ice cube in the shotglass to cool down the whiskey.
anyways, i left shortly therafter, and guess what? i ran into a DUI checkpoint. man, i was shitting bricks when the cop asked me if i had been drinking. i mean, do i tell him the truth or lie? i chose to lie. i mean, i was FINE to drive and everything, but i just didn't want to risk getting caught.
the cop made me follow his finger with my eyes, and then, he asked me again. "are you SURE you haven't been drinking?" for a moment, i thought he had detected some impairment during the finger exercise, but i lied again and told him i hadn't. and then let me go.
shit. i am going to really think twice about drinking anything and then driving, because that experience really shook me up. what would i have done if they had caught me? who would i call to bail me out of jail? WAAAAAH.
so that was the scary moment of the weekend. fyi, the dui checkpoint was on blossom hill and 85, and traffic was totally backed up because they merged 3 lanes into one.
so it's tuesday today. i'm happy, happy i didn't have to experience the dread that is a monday workday.
i don't know why i get massive food coma, even if i don't eat much for lunch. but every afternoon i feel this incredible relentless drive toward taking a nap. maybe i have mono or something? *shrug*
today, T and i went to top cafe in cupertino for lunch. (near de anza and clarendon) it's like cantonese style food, and upon hearing that, i immediately looked for my favorite cantonese dish: beef and egg on rice. they had that on the menu, but unfortunately, it was loaded with these small strings of ginger. i HATE ginger, so i plucked each and every string out. the food wasn't bad otherwise.
like i said in my weekend update, i think i'm getting panic attacks. i am really worried about that; luckily i have xanax, but it takes awhile to kick in. have any of you had such an attack before? it's so uncomfortable. i feel this paranoia grow inside of me, and i just can't be still because i feel like i'm exploding inside. it's hard to describe, but trust me, it's hell.
i have a weird problem. i like being in social situations, but after a while of prolonged exposure, i start to get bored or ancy. i don't know what it is exactly.
but anyways, friday night, i met up with coworkers O and T at the faultline and had beer and burgers. the faultline was kind of depressing, because it was like 100% engineers or something.
saturday, i got up early (that's like 10am for you folks who don't know me) and headed to mike's place. he drove me and christie (sp?) to capitola near santa cruz for their labor day begonia festivals. i didn't see any begonias, but there were lots of sand sculptures on the beach. stupid me, i didn't know we were headed to the beach, so i wore my steve madden's. and i got wet, too. ick.
after having pizza at pizza my heart, we headed back, and i took my usual 2-5pm nap. afterwards, i headed back to mike's place, where jen cooked some yummy jumbalaya and lasagna. i hung out there for a while before calling it a night. they played karaoke revolution, which seemed fun, but of course, i can't carry a tune, so i strongly refused to sing.
sunday, i had lunch with dj at the palo alto miyake. he is such a stylish guy! living in japan really infused him with a sense of style. after my nap, i went to jay and margaret's place for some baja fresh burrito's. they got a puppy! yup, 12-week-old maltese/shih-tzu mix. so cute, it would just sit in your lap and fall asleep. i didn't let it sit in my lap for that long, though, because i was afraid it would take a shit on me.
sunday, i headed over to mallory's place, where she made me a mango shake and noodles with spinach. her place is furnished now, complete with a 50-inch plasma television. verrry nice. after my nap, i headed over to paul and mike's place for some crab bisque and assortment of grilled foods. i had three stalks of asparagus, but i my pee didn't smell when i got home.
quite a lot of people showed up (by the way, this was for nelson's birthday), and the bad news is, i think i got a panic attack around 9pm or so. all i remember is that i was talking to grace on the steps, and suddenly, i started shivering. so i had to get out of there. i went home, took my medication, added some xanax, and tried to go to sleep.
shit. i hope panic attacks don't become a regular thing, like they were at the end of last year. *crosses fingers*
but all in all, it was a good weekend. i didn't eat any meals alone, and i *still* got to take afternoon naps! *cheer*
so today, my site got its 250,000th hit. of course, a bunch of my hits are people looking for my picture of a perfect ass, so my hitcount is quite inflated. but still, i want to thank each and every one of you who reads this drivel that i call my blog. :)
so the roommate situation is taking a turn for the worse. the guy, T, found another place, and he seems to like it; the other place is cheaper, furnished, and closer to stanford than mine. but still, he's coming by today to take a look at my place, but i have serious doubts that he'll end up living with me.
so yesterday was a good night for me falling asleep. it really bugs me why some nights, i am just so irritated that my otherwise soothing television just grates on me. it's like a mini panic attack or something, where i can't feel settled in my bed underneath my blankets. i need to figure this out, find out what causes it and what i can do to just relax.
so the 3-day weekend is upon us! sadly, i won't see alan the entire weekend; he and 5 others are going backpacking the entire time. sigh. i'll have to call around to see who's available to hang out. so far, the past two weekends have been pretty full of stuff to do, so hopefully this one will be the same. i have high hopes!
does anybody else own a pair of mavi jeans? do they tear easily? all three of my pairs of mavi's have undergone extensive repair and patching. the jeans are very comfortable because the denim is very thing, but the downside of it is that they tear easily. sigh. maybe it's time for me to get new jeans.
i crave pearl milk tea. especially the roasted barley variety that's sold at tea era. maybe i'll take T out to castro for dinner, and i can stop by.
what causes us to yawn? i find that a mystery. yawns and sneezes, but yawns moreso. what's the point of it? what is our body trying to do? (ok, i posed the question to google, and i found some interesting articles on the subject. google fucking rocks!)
i want to see _the transporter 2_. i like jason statham (is that his name?), and in the first one, there was the cute/hot chinese girl shu qi. in this movie, he switches from a bmw to an audi. hm, i wonder how much audi paid to have him drive their car.
in addition to pearl milk tea, i crave dumplings. i used to buy 50-dumpling bags from this chinese restaurant; they were handmade, and the pork/leek variety was very good. (leek burps! yum.) but that restaurant disappeared, and now i'm looking for another that sells homemade dumplings.
ok, that's enough from me. i plan to leave the office early and just relax. have a GREAT weekend, folks! :)
so, i felt really bad for the hurricane victims, so i donated $150 to the american red cross a few minutes ago. i know it's not much, but it's something, right?
i am so sleepy today. i just had a dr pepper to wake me up, but it's not doing the job. maybe i should drink some coffee or something. i'd prefer a hazelnut latte, though. i haven't had coffee in many years.
one of the best times i had in europe last year was when i had lunch alone. the rest of the gang was inside this cafe, but i parked myself at one of the outdoor tables. i had a tuna and tomato sandwich, a cappuccino, and a cigarette. it was fucking grand. i know i sound like i need people around me to be happy, but sometimes some good old alone time is the best.
i need a vacation. any time away from work is good for me; during my two weeks in europe last year, my tics actually got better, that is, until i went back to work.
so i watched _so you think you can dance_ last night. i thought the paso doble dance was very cool and slylish, but i thought ryan's solo breakdancing routine was awesome. that dude can jump on his head and hold the position for a few seconds! that's pretty fucking amazing. i love his asymmetrical hair spikes! he just looks cool.
i'm burping up cheap korean dae-ji bulgoki right now. it tastes really good coming back up. maybe i should puke. *hahha*
i wonder why it is that i used to puke so much. i wasn't bulimic or anything, but i just threw up a lot back then. my view is that it was a form of stress relief, but what was i so stressed out about? and remember my panic attacks last year? i haven't had one yet this year *knocks on wood*, and that is a very very good thing.
although, last night, i was in my easily-irritated state once again. listening to _sportscenter_ just pissed me off, so once the 10pm show ended, i turned off the tv and tried to go to sleep in a big harumph. i don't know why i get in such bad moods; they're really uncomfortable to go through, like a bad mood spell.
so by the end of today, i might have a roommate again. it's been fun living alone; i got some decent naked time earlier this week, and i'll have to say goodbye to that existence. but the financial benefits of not paying rent for two will be good for me.
i am so bored right now. i've already visited all the blogs that i regularly read, and i've gone through the comics on msnbc.com. what else is there? somebody give me a good website to surf!
ok, that's it for today. happy 1st of september everyone! my, this year is closing in on us fast!